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Tuesday, October 20, 2015

THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER EATEN

Prêt A Manger - in many ways the WHSmiths of food chains. Not good for anything, but pretty handy at airports. When the 'middle class McDonalds' recently started adorning their outlets with these little ads, my curiosity - as a burrito lover and conneisur - was piqued:



Today I decided to bite the bullet and sample one of these - the 'chicken chipotle burrito'. What followed was a masterclass in lunch-ruining. Behold the abomination!



I have relatively small hands, which should give you an idea of the pitiful size of this thing.

Note the cardboard packaging,  particularly apt as it I sense it probably tastes about the same as the rock hard, ice cold wrap this festering piece of slop came contained in.

The label promised a mix of peppers, black beans, avocado and spicy, smokey chipotle chicken. I bit in, hoping to pick out the taste of one of these - nothing. I bit again - more cold, flavour free mush. Usually with a burrito each bite brings a different taste - a variety of flavours to dazzle the taste buds.

With this I was struggling to taste…well anything come to think of it. In the end I chalked it down to experience and chucked the thing.

My burrito hunting buddy Riccardo and I have worked out a 2 tier system for burrito joints. Given the increasing quality of those in the UK, I recently gave thought to creating a tier 3 for the ropey ones, as tier 1 was becoming too crowded. Henceforth I want to add 'Tier Zero', to which the Pret Burrito can proudly claim as it's own.

They're OK for some things - the all day breakfast thing wasn't the worst thing in the world, and the orange spice latte was good too (tasted like ginger nuts - as in the biscuit and not the follicle based racial slur). However, if you are going to offer your customers a burrito you had better have the chops for the task. A bit like offering a huge sci-fi franchise to McG. Or something like that.

If you are ever tempted by grabbing a burrito from 'Pretentious Greggs' - do yourself a favour. Walk on by and seek out any of the other perfectly fine burrito places that are currently dotted around the capital.
Avoid this like the plague!







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